A Belfast-based TV Licensing goon has been banned from driving after being caught behind the wheel whilst unfit through drink.
John Marcus Rodgers, 39, shown above enjoying a pint in the lounge of TV Licensing's favourite Isle of Man hotel (see him on YouTube here), was carrying out enforcement visits on the Island at the time of his offence.
Deputy High Bailiff Jayne Hughes, sitting at Douglas Courthouse, heard how an off-duty police officer (entirely by coincidence) spotted Rodgers, who was clearly the worse for wear, getting into a white Ford Focus outside the town's Tesco store at 11.30 pm on Monday night. Rodgers' breath smelt heavily of alcohol when he walked past the officer, who alerted his colleagues to the situation. Rodgers drove off and was stopped by uniformed officers a short time later on Athol Street.
The court was told that Rodgers had attempted to delay taking a roadside breath test (a TV Licensing goon trying to conceal evidence - who'd have thought it?) Later, at police headquarters, he provided a specimen of breath containing 65 micrograms of alcohol in 100 millilitres of breath, which is almost twice the legal limit.
Rodgers pleaded with the court not to impose a driving ban as it would mean the loss of his job as a TV Licensing pariah. The judge was unsympathetic to the gobby goon's plight. She banned him from driving for two years, fined him £900 and ordered him to pay £125 towards prosecution costs. The driving ban applies in the Isle of Man, Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
TV Licensing doesn't have much luck during its visits to the Isle of Man. It has previously had cars vandalised and stationery stolen. This time, by some spooky coincidence, an off-duty police officer just happened to be in the right place at the right time when a pissed up goon jumped into his car.
It's a small place the Isle of Man. We don't believe in coincidences and neither should TV Licensing.
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Edit (22/9/17): We have made minor corrections to this article and brushed up the language used.